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Dating is an activity of spending time together ("going on dates") usually through planned social encounters, with the intention of getting to know each other, often with a Romance or intimate purpose. While the result of dating may at any time lead to friendship, any level of intimate relationship, marriage, or no relation, its significance extends beyond relationship status. Psychological research suggests that dating can also function as a form of personal growth, as individuals expand their understanding of themselves and others through shared experiences and emotional exchange. (2026). 9781108475686, Cambridge University Press. ISBN 9781108475686
During the Victorian era (mid-1800s until World War I), courtship customs differed sharply by social class: among the middle and upper classes, romantic interactions occurred under parental supervision within the home, while working-class couples, whose smaller living spaces limited privacy, met in public venues such as restaurants, dances, and theatres. These public outings marked a cultural shift from supervised dating to unsupervised leisure encounters, giving rise to the modern notion of a “date”, understood as a planned social meeting between potential romantic partners.
The term and practice of dating spread globally through cultural exchange, colonisation, and mass media, but it has no direct linguistic equivalent in most Eastern languages. In China, the modern term yuēhuì (约会, “appointment” or “meeting”) adopted romantic meaning in the early 20th century under Western influence. In Japan, the word deeto (デート) was borrowed phonetically from English during the Taishō period (1912–1926), reflecting the shift in marriage practices from the traditional omiai (formal, facilitated introductions) to the modern, Western-influenced dating based on individual choice and romantic love. In many Arabic-speaking societies, romantic interaction before marriage traditionally occurred within tightly regulated frameworks such as khitbah (engagement) or family-arranged meetings, and public expressions of affection were often restricted by social and religious norms. The diffusion of global media and migration introduced new discourses of love and companionship, particularly among urban youth and diaspora populations. As a result, the borrowed term daiting (دايتنغ) along with variants such as diting and dāyteng, entered colloquial usage, typically referring to informal cross-gender interactions that mirrored aspects of Western-style dating while remaining distinct from traditional, family-mediated courtship practices.
Commonly recognized forms include:
Contemporary online dating began in the mid-1990s with online dating websites, followed by in the 2010s. These modernised the personals section of newspapers as a way to find prospective partners and about 30% of Americans report using a dating site. These technologies introduced geolocation-based matching, algorithmic recommendations, and swipe interfaces that normalised digital romantic interaction across many cultures, dramatically expanding the user base. Over time, the stigma once associated with finding partners online faded as digital matchmaking became mainstream and seamlessly integrated into everyday dating culture.
In addition to dating apps, many people now form romantic connections through social media platforms such as Instagram, X, and Facebook. These interactions often emerge through "mutuals" (friends or acquaintances followed by both parties) where liking, commenting, or replying to stories functions as a low-risk form of flirtation and vetting. This pattern reflects what have been described as ambient intimacy: a mode of online intimacy that develops gradually through sustained visibility, shared digital environments and micro connections rather than explicit matching algorithms.
Some studies suggest that online dating facilitates the process for those with social anxiety.Stevens, Sarah B., and Tracy L. Morris. "College dating and social anxiety: Using the Internet as a means of connecting to others." CyberPsychology & Behavior 10.5 (2007): 680-688. Studies also suggest that online environment is conducive to impression management, such as selectively presenting personal details or photos, however many still pursue genuine emotional connection and trust through these online interactions.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, dating apps adapted by integrating in-app video and voice features to support real-time interactions and maintain intimacy at a distance. This development, often referred to as virtual dating, shifted early romantic encounters from public spaces to private homes and blended online interaction with synchronous communication via Zoom, WhatsApp, FaceTime, Google Hangouts. Researchers suggest that these practices are likely to persist beyond the pandemic, reflecting broader trends in how technology mediates intimacy.
Studies indicate that long-distance partners often report levels of relationship satisfaction and stability comparable to, or even higher than, geographically close couples, partly because communication tends to be more deliberate and self-disclosing. Qualitative research shows that intimacy in long-distance dating often depends on shared meanings of "feeling close", a strong base of friendship, and trust supported by consistent communication and technology use and many partners view the distance as a temporary and purposeful phase that reinforces commitment.
Challenges of long-distance dating include limited physical contact, travel costs, and the emotional strain of uncertainty about future reunification and commitment.
Research on the transition from long-distance to geographically close relationships shows that such reunions can be both rewarding and challenging. About half of long-distance couples eventually reunite, but roughly one-third of those relationships end within three months of reunion. The shift often brings changes such as reduced autonomy, time management difficulties, and increased conflict or jealousy, as partners adjust to daily proximity and lose some of the novelty and independence characteristic of long-distance dating. Research comparing long-distance and geographically close dating relationships found that long-distance partners often engage in greater idealization and report higher satisfaction with relationship communication, apparently to greater effort put into communication.
Sexual interactions between unmarried heterosexuals have been variously defined as promiscuity, free love, casual sex, or Hookup culture, friends with benefits, depending on the ideological and disciplinary context. Casual dating exists on a continuum that ranges from transient encounters to ongoing but non-exclusive relationships, reflecting diverse approaches to intimacy and attachment. The meaning and moral interpretation of casual dating differ by culture, gender, and generation. Dating practices can vary in the degree of emotional involvement, for example, relationship can be committed, Monogamy, Non-monogamy, or Casual dating, and individuals often signal their preferred degree of commitment through social or digital cues. Commitment can be connected to dating stability.
A research study (2025) found no evidence for a stereotype that people who engage in casual sex, particularly women, have lower self-esteem than those who report only committed sexual relationships.
Group dating, “Gōkon” in Japanese, is distinct from double dating, which is a social event where several men and women meet in groups, often for matchmaking or casual socialising. Similar forms exist in other cultures, such as sogaeting in South Korea or “single parties” in China.
A study analysing newspaper-arranged blind dates found that women tend to be more selective than men, giving slightly lower ratings to their dates, consistent with parental investment theory and sexual strategies theory, which suggest that women are generally more cautious in mate selection due to higher reproductive investment.
Blind dating is valued by some for reducing appearance-based bias, while others view it as risky or unpredictable due to limited prior knowledge. Recent research shows that attraction during dating interactions isn’t driven by physical appearance alone - it also emerges from a subtle choreography of movements, reactions, and expressions that create emotional connection and mutual responsiveness. This helps explain why blind dating, despite its unpredictability, can still foster genuine connection through the shared experience of curiosity and emotional resonance. Today, it remains common in the context of online dating, often facilitated by apps or social media. Many dating platforms now include “blind date” modes that hide photos until after both people agree to chat, recreating the suspense of traditional blind dating.
Events are typically held in social venues, such as restaurants or bars, where participants rotate between brief interviews with different partners, often meeting up to 20 people in a single session.
Its main advantages include efficiency and cost-effectiveness, allowing participants to meet many people in a short period of time. However, critics note that the format can resemble a beauty contest, where more physically attractive participants receive the majority of offers, while factors such as personality and intelligence may be overlooked due to limited interaction time, especially in large groups or shorter sessions.
In Shanghai, one event featured eight-minute one-on-one meetings in which participants were pre-screened by age, education, and career and which cost 50 yuan (US$6) per participant; participants were asked not to reveal contact information during the brief meeting with the other person, but rather place names in cards for organizers to arrange subsequent dates.
Online dating patterns suggest that men are more likely to initiate online exchanges (over 75%) and extrapolate that men are less "choosy", seek younger women, and "cast a wide net". One common gendered dating preference is that heterosexual men prefer women's physical attractiveness more than reverse. In a similar vein, the stereotype for heterosexual women is that they seek well-educated men who are their age or older with high-paying jobs. Evolutionary psychology suggests that "women are the choosier of the genders" since "reproduction is a much larger investment for women" who have "more to lose by making bad choices." Women's endorsement of gendered dating norms tends to increase with benevolent sexism, preference for dominant men and long-term relationships. Some women perceive benevolent gendered dating norms benefit them, such as "women should be protected and taken care of by men". Some women endorse gendered dating norms due to their view that men's commitment is less assured than women's commitment, which can be seen as internalized sexism.
While many gendered dating norms follow patriarchy or chivalry, the online dating app Bumble enforced until 2024 the gendered dating norm that heterosexual women send the first message after matching.
In countries with reversal of the gender gap in education, such as parts of Europe and USA, a switch of educational hypergamy from men to women showing on average higher educational attainment was observed in heterosexual couples.
Young persons are exposed to many people their own age in their or or college or university. There is anecdotal evidence that traditional dating—one-on-one public outings—has declined rapidly among the younger generation in the United States in favor of less intimate sexual encounters sometimes known as Hookup culture, described as brief sexual experiences with "no strings attached", although exactly what is meant by the term hookup varies considerably. Dating is being bypassed and is seen as archaic, and relationships are sometimes seen as "greedy" by taking time away from other activities, although exclusive relationships form later. Some college newspapers have decried the lack of dating on campuses after a 2001 study was published, and conservative groups have promoted "traditional" dating. When young people are in school, they have a lot of access to people their own age, and do not need tools such as online websites or dating services. Chinese writer Lao Wai, writing to homeland Chinese about America, considered that the college years were the "golden age of dating" for Americans, when Americans dated more than at any other time in their life. There are indications that people in their twenties are more focused on careers than marriage.
People over thirty, lacking recent college experience, have better luck online finding partners. Economist Sylvia Ann Hewlett in 2002 found that 55% of 35-year-old career women were childless, while 19% of male corporate executives were, and concluded that "the rule of thumb seems to be that the more successful the woman, the less likely it is she will find a husband or bear a child."
While people tend to date others close to their own age, age disparity in sexual relationships varies. In many countries, the older-man-younger-woman arrangement is seen as permissible or preferable. In China, older men with younger women are more likely to be described as "weird uncles" rather than "silver foxes." Older women in relationships with younger men have recently been described as "cougars", and formerly such relationships were often kept secret or discreet, but there is a report that such relationships are becoming more accepted and increasing.
Since divorce is increasing in many areas, there is dating advice for the freshly divorced as well, which includes not talking about your ex or your divorce but focusing on "activities that bring joy to your life." Adviser Claire Rayner in The Guardian suggests calling people from your address book with whom you haven't been in touch for years and say "I'd love to get back in contact." It's more acceptable for this group for women to ask men out.
People can meet other people on their own or the get-together can be arranged by someone else. Friends remain a common way for people to meet. However, the Internet promises to overtake friends in the future if present trends continue. A friend can introduce two people who do not know each other, and the friend may play matchmaker and send them on a . Parents can introduce their children to each other via their contacts with associates, neighbors, or friends. In India, parents often place matrimonial ads in newspapers or online, and may post the resumes of the prospective bride or groom.
In online dating, individuals create profiles where they disclose personal information, photographs, hobbies, interests, religion and expectations. Then the user can search through hundreds of thousands of accounts and connect with multiple people at once which in return, gives the user more options and more opportunity to find what meets their standards. Online dating has influenced the idea of choice. In , Aziz Ansari states that one third of marriages in the United States between 2005 and 2012 met through online dating services. (2026). 9781594206276, Penguin Press. ISBN 9781594206276 Today there are hundreds of sites to choose from and websites designed to fit specific needs such as Match, eHarmony, OkCupid, Zoosk, and ChristianMingle. Mobile apps, such as Grindr and Tinder allow users to upload profiles that are then judged by others on the service; one can either swipe right on a profile (indicating interest) or swipe left (which presents another possible mate).
The Internet is shaping the way new generations date. Particularly for the LGBTQ+ community, where the dating pool can be more difficult to navigate due to discrimination and having a 'minority' status in society.
Online dating tools are an alternate way to meet potential dates.Lgbt Identity and Online New Media – Page 235, Christopher Pullen, Margaret Cooper – 2010Gaydar Culture: Gay Men, Technology and Embodiment in the Digital Age – Page 186, Sharif Mowlabocus – 2010 Many people use such as Tinder, Grindr, or Bumble which allow a user to accept or reject another user with a single swipe of a finger.CQ Press, CQ Researcher, Barbara Mantel, Online dating: Can apps and algorithms lead to true love? , Retrieved June 12, 2016, "...Yet some researchers say dating companies' matchmaking algorithms are no better than Chance for providing suitable partners. At the same time, critics worry that the abundance of prospective dates available online is undermining relationships..." Some critics have suggested that matchmaking algorithms are imperfect and are "no better than chance" for the task of identifying acceptable partners. Others have suggested that the speed and availability of emerging technologies may be undermining the possibility for couples to have long-term meaningful relationships when finding a replacement partner has potentially become too easy.
Dating systems can be systematic and organized ways to improve matchmaking by using rules or technology. The meeting can be in-person or live and separated by time or space, such as by telephone or email or chat-based. The purpose of the meeting is for the two persons to decide whether to go on a date in the future.
The first large-scale computer dating system, The Scientific Marriage Foundation, was established in 1957 by Dr. George W. Crane.Eleanor Harris, "Men Without Women", Look, November 22, 1960, 124–30. In this system, forms that applicants filled out were processed by an IBM card sorting machine. The earliest commercially successful computerized dating service in either the US or the UK was Com-Pat, started by Joan Ball in 1964. Operation Match, started by Harvard University students a year later is often erroneously claimed to be the "first computerized dating service." New dating apps cut to the chase, set up dates quickly , Tracey Lein, Los Angeles Times, January 29, 2015 In actuality, both Com-Pat and Operation Match were preceded by other computerized dating services in Europe—the founders of Operation Match and Joan Ball of Com-Pat both stated they had heard about these European computer dating services and that those served as the inspiration for their respective ideas to create computer dating businesses.
The longest running and most successful early computer dating business, both in terms of numbers of users and in terms of profits, was Dateline, which was started in the UK in 1965 by John Patterson. Patterson's business model was not fully legal, however. He was charged with fraud on several occasions for selling lists of the women who signed up for his service to men who were looking for prostitutes. Dateline existed until Patterson's death from alcoholism in 1997, and during the early 1990s it was reported to be the most profitable computer dating company in the world.
In the early 1980s in New York City, software developers wrote to match singles romantically, sometimes using collaborative filtering technologies.
Compatibility algorithms and matching software are becoming increasingly sophisticated.
Online dating businesses are thriving financially, with growth in members, service offerings, and membership fees and many users renewing their accounts. However, the overall share of Internet traffic using online dating services in the U.S. has declined from 2003 (21% of all Internet users) to 2006 (10%). There is widespread evidence that online dating has increased rapidly and is becoming "mainstream" with new websites appearing regularly. One study suggested that 34% of men and 27% women have used the Internet for dating purposes, and that American's willingness to try it has been on the rise. While online dating has become more accepted, it retains a slight stigma. After controversies such as the 2015 hacking of Ashley Madison user data, dating sites must work to convince users that they are safe places with quality members.
Reports vary about the effectiveness of dating web sites to result in marriages or long–term relationships. Pew Research, based on a 2005 survey of 3,215 adults, estimated that three million Americans had entered into long-term relationships or marriage as a result of meeting on a dating web site. While sites have touted marriage rates from 10% to 25%, sociologists and marriage researchers are highly skeptical that valid statistics underlie any such claims.
The Pew study (see table) suggested the Internet was becoming increasingly prominent and accepted as a way to meet people for dates, although there were cautions about deception, the risk of violence, and some concerns about stigmas. The report suggested most people had positive experiences with online dating websites and felt they were excellent ways to meet more people. The report also said that online daters tend to have more liberal social attitudes compared to the general population.
Research from Berkeley University in California suggests a drop-off in interest after online daters meet face-to-face. It is a lean medium not offering standard cues such as tone of voice, gestures, and facial expressions. There is substantial data about online dating habits; for example, researchers believe that "the likelihood of a reply to a message sent by one online dater to another drops roughly 0.7 percent with every day that goes by". Psychologist Lindsay Shaw Taylor found that even though people said they would be willing to date someone of a different race, that people tend to choose dates similar to themselves.
Virtual dating incorporates elements of video-game play and dating. Users create avatars and spend time in virtual worlds in an attempt to meet other avatars with the purpose of meeting for potential dates.
Mobile dating or cellphone dating refers to exchanging text messages to express interest in others on the system. These may be web-based or online as well, depending on the company.
At a singles event, a group of single person are brought together to take part in various activities for the purposes of meeting new people. Events might include parties, workshops, and games. Many events are aimed at singles of particular affiliations, interests, or religions.
The first date is considered important, sometimes for making a good first impression, or because dating may lead to a more serious relationship, or a breakup, or friendzoning. If the relationship progresses, the next steps may include meeting the parents or other family and eventually cohabitation, engagement, and marriage. Even after the relationship develops, couples still may organize a date or "date night".
While some of what happens on a date is guided by an understanding of basic, unspoken rules, there is considerable room to experiment, and there are numerous sources of advice available. Sources of advice include magazine articles, self-help books, , friends, and many other sources. The advice given can pertain to all facets of dating, including such aspects as where to go, what to say, what not to say, what to wear, how to end a date, how to flirt, and differing approaches regarding first dates versus subsequent dates. In addition, advice can apply to periods before a date, such as how to meet prospective partners, as well as after a date, such as how to break off a relationship.
There are now more than 350 businesses that offer dating coach services in the US and the number of these businesses has surged since 2005. Frequency of dating varies by person and situation; among singles actively seeking partners, 36% had been on no dates in the past three months, 13% had one date, 22% had two to four dates, and 25% had five or more dates, according to a 2005 US survey.
Judi James, author of The Body Language Bible, suggests specific body language behaviors to note during a date:
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