A soulmate is a person with whom one feels a deep or natural affinity.
Definition and origin
In contemporary usage, the term
soulmate typically refers to a romantic or
Platonic love partner with whom one shares a particularly strong bond.
It is frequently used to suggest the closest relationship a person can have, and is sometimes understood as an exclusive or lifelong connection.
Believers in the concept often describe soulmates as individuals who make each other feel “complete,” reflecting the idea that two
are destined to unite.
The earliest recorded use of the term soulmate in English appears in a letter by Samuel Taylor Coleridge dated 1822.
Historical usage of the concept
Judaism
In rabbinic and mystical literature, the concept of
bashert (Yiddish: “destined one”) conveys the idea of a divinely ordained partner. The Talmud (Sotah 2a) states that “forty days before the formation of a child, a heavenly voice proclaims whose daughter he will marry.”
Kabbalistic writings elaborate that a soul is divided before birth into male and female halves, which are reunited in marriage.
The Baal Shem Tov is quoted as saying: “From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven, and when two souls destined to be together meet, the streams of light join and a brighter light goes forth from the united being.”
Mythology
Lilith and Eve
In
Jewish folklore and later
Kabbalah writings,
Adam is sometimes described as having had a first wife,
Lilith, who was created from the same dust as him. According to this tradition, Lilith left Adam after refusing to submit to him, insisting instead on equality derived from their identical origin.
In contrast,
Eve is portrayed as Adam’s destined companion. Some rabbinic commentaries hold that her creation from Adam’s body symbolized an indissoluble union, with one interpretation suggesting that Adam was originally a dual-faced being divided at her creation.
Cain and Abel
A midrashic tradition states that in early generations, each male child was born with a twin sister destined to be his spouse. This belief extended to Cain and Abel, and later to
Jacob and
Esau, whose companions were identified in some commentaries with
Rachel and
Leah.
King Solomon's daughter
A lesser-known folktale concerns King
Solomon, who, fearing that one of his daughters was destined to marry a poor man, secluded her in a tower deep within a forest. In the story, a bird of prey delivers her fated partner to the tower, where the two fall in love. The tale concludes with Solomon recognizing the young man’s scholarly virtues despite his lack of wealth, thereby fulfilling the destined match.
Greek mythology
In
Plato’s
Symposium, the comic playwright
Aristophanes presents a myth to explain the origin of love. According to his account, humans were originally
Androgyny beings with four arms, four legs, and a single head with two faces. Fearing their power,
Zeus split them in half, condemning each to spend their lives searching for its missing counterpart (the term used by Plato is
τὸ ,
tó héteros ímisy, lit. "the other half"). Aristophanes describes this longing for unity as the source of human desire, stating that “love calls back the halves of our original nature together; it tries to make one out of two and heal the wound of human nature.”
Hinduism
The story of Shiva and Parvati (Shakti) illustrates how the masculine and feminine principles are eternal and inseparable parts of the universe. The story of Radha and Krishna also illustrates divine love that breaks through all barriers.
Theosophy
Within the esoteric religious movement of
Theosophy, Helena Blavatsky and later writers described the soul as originally
Androgyny, embodying both male and female aspects. In some interpretations, these souls later divided into separate genders, a process linked symbolically to
Karma consequences or estrangement from the divine. Each half was believed to reincarnate separately, with the ultimate aim of reunion once karmic debts had been resolved.
[Krajenke, Robert W. (1972). Suddenly We Were!: a Story of Creation Based on the Edgar Cayce Readings. A.R.E. Press.]
New Age
In New Age thought, the concept of soulmates has been further developed by spiritual teachers such as Mark L. Prophet and Elizabeth Clare Prophet.
[Elizabeth Clare Prophet, Soulmates and Twin Flames: The Spiritual Dimension of Love and Relationships. Summit University Press, 1998.] They define a soulmate as a distinct soul with whom an individual has shared multiple lifetimes in different roles—including those of friend, colleague, or spouse—brought together for the purpose of mutual growth or a shared mission.
[Prophet, Mark and Elizabeth, The Ascended Masters On Soulmates And Twin Flames: Initiation by the Great White Brotherhood: Volume 2. Summit University Press, 1988, pg 87–88.] The Prophets emphasize that soulmates are not necessarily a single destined partner, but rather one of many spiritual companions encountered over successive reincarnations. They describe the bond as one of “parallel and mutual evolution,” capable of manifesting in romantic or fraternal forms.
Practices
Judaism
In Jewish thought, the concept of a divinely ordained partner is expressed through the term
bashert (
Yiddish: “destined one”). Classical sources state that all souls stand before God in pairs before entering the world, and that the “Holy One” unites these couples as intended matches.
Prayer
Prayer is regarded as one means of seeking one’s
bashert.
In the
Hebrew Bible, Eliezer prays for divine guidance in finding a wife for
Isaac (Genesis 24), while later rabbinic tradition recounts that Leah prayed to alter her destined match after learning that her intended partner was Esau; she was instead joined with Jacob.
In some Jewish communities, additional devotional practices developed around this belief, including praying at the tombs of revered sages, or reciting the
Song of Songs and selected
Psalms (31, 32, 70, 72, and 124) for forty consecutive days.
Working on character traits (Middot)
Although
bashert conveys the idea of a destined partner, Jewish ethical teaching emphasizes that destiny is shaped by free will. Rabbinic sources caution that a person who fails to cultivate good character (
middot) may lose the merit of their destined partner to another who is more deserving.
Criticism
Psychologists and relationship researchers have argued that the belief in a single predestined soulmate can create unrealistic expectations and hinder relationship satisfaction. Such views suggest that framing love as a matter of destiny may discourage individuals from developing practical skills in communication and conflict resolution, while increasing the likelihood of disappointment when partners fail to meet idealized standards.
See also
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Astrological compatibility
-
Interpersonal relationship
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Red thread of fate
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Romantic friendship
