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Polyamory () is the practice of, or the desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved. Some people who identify as polyamorous believe in consensual non-monogamy with a conscious management of jealousy and reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity (monogamy) are prerequisite for deep, committed, long-term, loving relationships. Others prefer to restrict their sexual activity to only members of the group, a closed polyamorous relationship that is usually referred to as polyfidelity.
Polyamory has come to be an umbrella term for various forms of non-monogamous, multi-partner relationships, or non-exclusive sexual or romantic relationships. Its usage reflects the choices and philosophies of the individuals involved, but with recurring themes or values, such as love, intimacy, honesty, integrity, Egalitarianism, communication, and Promise. It can often be distinguished from some other forms of ethical non-monogamy in that the relationships involved are loving intimate relationships, as opposed to purely sexual relationships.
The term polyamory was coined in 1990 and officially defined by 1999. It is not typically considered part of the LGBTQ people umbrella. Courts and cities in Canada and the United States. are increasingly recognizing polyamorous families, granting legal parentage to multiple adults and extending protections to multi-partner relationships. While still uncommon, about 4% of people practice polyamory, and up to 17% are open to it. While mainstream Christianity and Judaism generally reject polyamory, some religious groups, including the Oneida Community, certain Rabbi and Jewish communities, LaVeyan Satanism, and Unitarian Universalists, have accepted or supported polyamorous relationships. In clinical settings, therapists are encouraged to recognize diverse relationship structures such as polyamory, address biases toward monogamy, and utilize specialized resources to support polyamorous clients.
From the 1970s onward, polyamory has been depicted in various media, including Isaac Asimov’s works, DC Comics’ Starfire, The Wheel of Time series, Futurama, and numerous 21st-century television shows and novels. Polyamory-related observances include Metamour Day on February 28, Polyamory Pride Day during Pride Month, International Solo Polyamory Day on September 24, and Polyamory Day on November 23, with polyamory groups often participating in pride parades. Worldwide nonprofits like Loving More and others advocate for polyamory rights, acceptance, and education. Critics argue that polyamory is not inherently radical, often reflects privilege, and may have negative social impacts. Notable individuals publicly identifying as polyamorous include authors Dossie Easton, Janet Hardy, and Laurell K. Hamilton; filmmaker Terisa Greenan; activist Brenda Howard; and musician Willow Smith.
Some reference works define polyamory as a relational form (whether interpersonal or romantic or sexual) that involves multiple people with the consent of all the people involved, like Oxford Living Dictionaries, Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary and Thesaurus, and Dictionary.com. Some criticized the Merriam-Webster definition of polyamory, which defines the term as "the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time," as missing a "vital component": consent.
The word polyamory combines the Greek word for "many" ( poly) and the Latin word for "love" ( amor). Polyamory is not generally included in the LGBT umbrella because it is not a sexuality or a gender identity.
Separate from polyamory as a philosophical basis for relationships are the practical ways in which people who live polyamorously arrange their lives and handle specific issues compared to those of a more conventional monogamous arrangement. People of different sexual orientations are a part of the community and form networks of relationships with the consent and agreement of their partners. Many things differentiate polyamory from other types of non-monogamous relationships. It is common for swinging and open couples to maintain emotional monogamy while engaging in extra-dyadic sexual relations.
The friend or partner boundary in monogamous relationships and other forms of non-monogamy is typically fairly clear. Unlike other forms of non-monogamy, though, "polyamory is notable for privileging emotional intimacy with others." Benefits of a polyamorous relationship might include: the ability of individuals to discuss issues with multiple partners, potentially mediating and thus stabilizing a relationship, and reducing polarization of viewpoints, and emotional support and structure from other committed adults within the familial unit. Other benefits include a wider range of adult experience, skills, resources, and perspective and support for companionate marriages, which can be satisfying even if no longer sexually vital since romantic needs are met elsewhere. This acts to preserve existing relationships.
The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction estimated that there were half a million "openly polyamorous families" in the United States in July 2009. Additionally, 15–28% of heterosexual couples and about half of gay and bisexual people have a "non-traditional" arrangement of some kind as reported in The Guardian in August 2013. Polyamorous communities have been said to be outwardly feminist as women were central to the creation of such communities and gender equality is a central tenet. For those who are polyamorous, social distancing, as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, created ripples in existing relationships, leading some to split apart and others to struggle to maintain their connections with one another.
Other styles of polyamory include parallel polyamory, where members of individual relationships prefer not to meet or know details of their partners' other relationships, amory defines non-monogamous individuals who do not want a primary partner and may resist the "relationship escalator" (an idea that relationships must follow a progression, or "escalator" from dating, to being exclusive, to becoming engaged, getting married, and having children). For some, polyamory functions as an umbrella term for the multiple approaches of 'responsible non-monogamy'. A secret sexual relationship that violates those accords would be seen as a breach of fidelity. Polyamorists generally base definitions of commitment on considerations other than sexual exclusivity, e.g., "trust and honesty" or "growing old together". In an article in Men's Health, Zachary Zane states that commitment in a polyamorous relationship means that "you will be there for that person", supporting them, taking care of them, and loving them.
Polyamorous relationships present practical pitfalls. One common complaint from participants is time management, as more partners mean one must divide one's time and attention between them, leaving less for each. Related is that the complexity of the arrangement can lead to so much effort being spent on the relationship that personal, individual needs can be overlooked. The strong emphasis on communication can unintentionally marginalize partners who are less articulate. Finally, negotiating the sometimes complex rules and boundaries of these relationships can be emotionally taxing, as can reconciling situations where one partner goes outside those boundaries.
The scientific studies of psychological well-being and relationship satisfaction for participants in polyamory have been limited due to mostly being a "hidden population." While some results could be interpreted as positive, these findings often suffer from bias and methodological issues. A significant number of studies rely on small samples, often recruited from referrals, snowball-sampling, and websites devoted to polyamory. Individuals recruited in this manner tend to be relatively homogeneous regarding values, beliefs, and demographics, which limits the generalizability of the findings. These samples also tend to be self-selecting toward individuals with positive experiences. In contrast, those who found polyamory to be distressing or hurtful might be more reluctant to participate in the research. Most of the studies rely entirely on self-report measures. Generally, self-reports of the degree of well-being and relationship satisfaction over time are flawed and are often based on belief rather than actual experience. Self-report measures are also at risk of self-enhancement bias, as subjects may feel pressure to give positive responses about their well-being and relationship satisfaction in the face of stereotype threat.
In April 2021, a British Columbia Supreme Court justice declared a woman was the third legal parent in a polyamorous "triad".
In April 2025, the Superior Court of Quebec ruled that the province must recognize families with more than two parents. The court gave the provincial government one year to amend the Civil Code, and listed court rulings in five provinces and territories as precedent.
In 2013, California passed SB 274 (Family Code §7612(c)), legalizing state courts' recognition of more than two parents if the court finds that recognizing only two parents would be detrimental to the child. In 2017, three men became the first family in the state of California to have names of three fathers on their child's birth certificate under the law.
In November 2020, the issue of polyamory came to the Supreme Court of Vermont in the form of a dispute between two men and a woman in a polyamorous relationship.
In June 2020, the city council of Somerville, Massachusetts, voted to recognize polyamorous domestic partnerships in the city, becoming the first American city to do so. This measure was passed so that those in a polyamorous relationship would have access to their partners' health insurance amid the COVID-19 pandemic.
In March 2021, the Cambridge, Massachusetts City Council approved an ordinance amending the city's laws, stipulating that "a domestic partnership needn't only include two partners." This is a publication run by a man named Robert Winters, who is a civic watcher of the Cambridge, MA government. The measure was supported by the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition, also known as PLAC, composed of the Chosen Family Law Center, Harvard Law School LGBTQ+ Advocacy Clinic, and some members on the American Psychological Association's Committee on Consensual Non-Monogamy. This ordinance was originally proposed in July 2020. In April 2021, the adjacent town of Arlington, Massachusetts, approved domestic partnerships of more than two people through a motion at Town Meeting. Any motion approved at Arlington's Town Meeting is subject to review and approval from the state Attorney General's office; by early January 2022 that office (the office of Maura Healey) approved it.
In 2010, Ann Tweedy, a legal scholar, argued that polyamory could be considered a sexual orientation under existing United States law. This argument was opposed by Christian Keese, who wrote in 2016 that advocating a "sexual orientation model of polyamory is likely to reduce the complexity and transformative potential of poly intimacies," while also limiting the reach and scope of possible litigation, obstructing the ability of poly activists to form alliances with other groups, and increasing the possibility that poly activists will have to settle for legal solutions which are "exclusive and reproductive of a culture of privilege".
In March 2023, the city of Somerville, Massachusetts passed an ordinance prohibiting discrimination against polyamorous people in employment and policing.
In April 2024, Oakland City Council passed legislation banning discrimination based on family and relationship structure in businesses, civil services, and housing.
In May 2024, Berkeley, California passed a law banning discrimination on the basis of relationship and family structure in businesses, city services, and housing.
Polyamory, however, is on a continuum of family-bonds that includes group marriage (2025). 9780826414885, A&C Black. ISBN 9780826414885 and it does not refer to bigamy as long as no claim to being married in formal legal terms is made. The Social History of the American Family: An Encyclopedia (2014, edited by Marilyn J. Coleman and Lawrence H. Ganong) stated that under existing U.S. federal law, a polyamorous relationship is legal in all 50 states while polygamy is not. On November 23, 2011, the Supreme Court of British Columbia ruled that the anti-polygamy law of Canada does not affect unformalized polyamorous households; this is why Polyamory Day is celebrated every year on November 23. Even so, those in polyamorous relationships often face legal challenges when it comes to custody, morality clauses, adultery and bigamy laws, housing, and where they live.
In 2012, legal scholar Deborah Anapol called for the revision of existing U.S. laws against bigamy to permit married persons to enter into additional marriages, provided that they have first given legal notice to their existing marital partner or partners, with a "dyadic networks" model. In 2015, another legal scholar, Ronald C. Den Otter, wrote in the Emory Law Journal (in the article "Three May Not Be a Crowd: The Case for a Constitutional Right to Plural Marriage") that in the United States the constitutional rights of due process and equal protection fully support marriage rights for polyamorous families.
During a PinkNews question-and-answer session in May 2015, Redfern Jon Barrett questioned Natalie Bennett, leader of the Green Party of England and Wales, about her party's stance toward polyamorous marriage rights. Bennett responded by saying that her party is "open" to discussion on the idea of civil partnership or marriages between three people. Bennett's announcement aroused media controversy on the topic and led to major international news outlets covering her answer. A follow-up article written by Barrett was published by PinkNews on May 4, 2015, further exploring the topic. In most countries, it is legal for three or more people to form and share a sexual relationship (subject sometimes to laws against homosexuality or adultery if two of the three are married). With only minor exceptions no developed countries permit marriage among more than two people, nor do the majority of countries give legal protection (e.g., of rights relating to children) to non-married partners. Individuals involved in polyamorous relationships are generally considered by the law to be no different from people who live together, or "Dating", under other circumstances. In 2017, John Alejandro Rodriguez, Victor Hugo Prada, and Manuel Jose Bermudez became Colombia's first polyamorous family to have a legally recognized relationship, though not a marriage, as by Colombian law, marriage is between two people, so they instead called it a "special patrimonial union". Some have called for domestic partnership laws to be expanded to include polyamorous couples and have said that marriage-like entitlements should apply to such couples.
The article What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory (by Geri Weitzman), based on a paper presented at the 8th Annual Diversity Conference in March 1999 in Albany, New York, states that while openly polyamorous relationships are relatively rare, there are "indications that private polyamorous arrangements within relationships are actually quite common." They also note, citing 1983 study of 3,574 married couples in their sample that "15–28% had an understanding that allows nonmonogamy under some circumstances," with percentages are higher among "cohabitating couples (28%), lesbian couples (29%) and gay male couples (65%)." According to Jessica Fern, a psychologist and the author of Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy, as of September 2020, about 4% of Americans, nearly 16 million people, are "practising a Non-monogamy style of relationship". A study by Amy C. Moors, Amanda N. Gesselman and Justin R. Garcia published on 23 March 2021 and using a sample of 3,438 individuals has shown that 10.7% of the sample were engaged in a polyamorous relationship at some point in their life, and 16.8% reported a desire to try or be in one. The study also revealed a correlation between educational background and polyamory, showing that lesser-educated male individuals were more likely to engage in or have been involved in polyamorous relationships. These findings indicate that the number of Americans who have engaged in polyamorous relationships is significantly higher than previously thought.
Some Christians are polyamorous, although mainstream Christianity Porneia. In 2017, the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, an evangelical Christian organization, released a manifesto on human sexuality known as the "Nashville Statement". The statement was signed by 150 evangelical leaders and included 14 points of belief. Among other things, it states, "We deny that God has designed marriage to be a homosexual, polygamous, or polyamorous relationship."
Some Jews are polyamorous, although mainstream Judaism does not accept polyamory. Nikki DeBlosi is an openly polyamorous rabbi; she was ordained by the Hebrew Union College – Jewish Institute of Religion. Also, in 2000, Rabbi Jacob Levin came out as polyamorous to his synagogue's board in California without losing his job as rabbi. As well, in his book A Guide to Jewish Practice: Volume 1 – Everyday Living (2011), Rabbi David Teutsch wrote, "It is not obvious that monogamy is automatically a morally higher form of relationship than polygamy," and that if practiced with honesty, flexibility, egalitarian rules, and trust, practitioners may "live enriched lives as a result". In 2013, Sharon Kleinbaum, the senior rabbi at Congregation Beit Simchat Torah in New York, said that polyamory is a choice that does not preclude a Jewishly observant and socially conscious life. Some polyamorous Jews point to biblical patriarchs having multiple wives and concubines as evidence that polyamorous relationships can be sacred in Judaism. An email list is dedicated to polyamorous Jews; it is called AhavaRaba, which roughly translates to "big love" in Hebrew, and which echoes God's "great" or "abounding" love mentioned in the Ahava rabbah prayer.
LaVeyan Satanism is critical of Abrahamic sexual mores, considering them narrow, restrictive, and hypocritical. Satanists are pluralists, accepting polyamorists, bisexuals, lesbians, gays, BDSM, transgender people, and asexuality. Sex is viewed as an indulgence, but one that should only be freely entered into with consent. The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth only give two instructions regarding sex: "Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal" and "Do not harm little children", though the latter is much broader and encompasses physical and other abuse. This has been a consistent part of CoS policy since its inception in 1966. Magister Peter H. Gillmore wrote in an essay supporting same-sex marriage that some people try to suggest that their attitude on sexuality is "anything goes" even though they have a principle of "responsibility to the responsible".
Unitarian Universalists for Polyamory Awareness, founded in 2001, has engaged in ongoing education and advocacy for greater understanding and acceptance of polyamory within the Unitarian Universalist Association. At the 2014 General Assembly, two UUPA members moved to include the category of "family and relationship structures" in the UUA's nondiscrimination rule, along with other amendments; the GA delegates ratified the package of proposed amendments.
In 2002, the rights of polyamorous people were added to the mission of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, an American sex-positive advocacy and educational organization; a manual for psychotherapists who deal with polyamorous clients was published by them in September 2009, called What Psychotherapists Should Know About Polyamory (written by Geri Weitzman and others).
The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom manages the Kink And Poly Aware Professionals Directory, which consists of an Internet directory of psychotherapeutic, medical, and other professionals who have volunteered to be contacted by people who are involved in polyamory (and/or BDSM, etc.).
The Polyamory-Friendly Professionals Directory is a directory on the Internet "of professionals who are sensitive to the unique needs of polyamorous clientele"; it includes psychologists, therapists, medical professionals, and other professionals.
Starfire, also known as Princess Koriand'r, is a fictional superhero appearing in books published by DC Comics, who debuted in a preview story inserted within DC Comics Presents #26 (October 1980) and was created by Marv Wolfman and George Pérez; (2025). 9781465453570, DK Publishing. ISBN 9781465453570 she was shown to be a polyamorous character. Starfire was raised on the world of Tamaran where it was acceptable to have an open marriage. Some critics argue that after arriving on Earth, she remained sex-positive and free-thinking, remaining open to polygamous relationships, open sex, and pansexual "free-love" with anyone, often leading to conflict with Earth's more reserved culture and customs. For Starfire, polyamory was a personal and cultural preference.
In 1989, the anime series Ranma ½ included a polyamorous character, Tatewaki, who is in love with both Akane and the "Pigtail Girl" (Ranma's female form) and proposes to date both, but they do not return his feelings.
Robert Jordan's fantasy book series The Wheel of Time, which began its run in 1990, is notable for its inclusion of various polyamorous relationships throughout the narrative. This includes the protagonist Rand al’Thor, who enters a romantic relationship with three women, Min, Aviendha and Elayne. The Aiel culture in the series also practice polyamory commonly. The books also hinted at a relationship between Alanna and her (male) warders Ihvon and Maksim, but it was not explored in detail until the 2021 television adaptation.
In 2002, the Futurama episode "A Taste of Freedom" showed Old Man Waterfall, who is Zoidberg's defense attorney until killed by a giant crab warship, having seven wives and one husband. While Waterfall's case for Zoidberg is unsuccessful, the Supreme Court holds polygamy as legal, though this leads to jeers from spectators. The made-for-TV Futurama film, (published 2008), featured two polyamorous characters: Colleen O'Hallahan and Yivo. Colleen had five boyfriends, Fry, Chu, Ndulu, Schlomo and Bolt Rolands, while Yivo is a planet-sized alien with no determinable gender, dating, then marrying all people of the universe at once. Fry and Colleen eventually break up. Afterwards, Yivo remains in a relationship with Colleen.
The 21st century brought various new forms of representation of polyamory. In 2007, Daniel Help Justice's book Dreyd featured Tarsa, a priestess, warrior, and bisexual woman, as part of a polyamorous love triad. In 2009, Graham Nicholls founded www.polyamory.org.uk, the United Kingdom's first website about polyamory and the Mom of Pina in Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli's novel, Love You Two was shown to be polyamorous and bisexual, leading Pina on a journey to explore the "complex spectrum of sex and love" in humanity itself. In 2010, the series Lost Girl began. It included Bo Dennis, a bisexual succubus which must sustain herself by feeding from the life force of male and female Fae and humans, via oral intake or the energy created through sex. In the first two seasons she was involved romantically with Dyson (a heterosexual shapeshifter) and Lauren (a lesbian human). Later on, Bo tried to have a Monogamy relationship with Lauren, with Bo and Lauren remaining in love with each other through ups and downs, and later accepting each other as a couple by the end of the series.
From 2015 to 2017, in the webcomic Always Human by Ari North, the parents of Sunati (Nisa and Prav) were shown to be in a polyamorous relationship with a man named Vish, who Nisa calls "our boyfriend". In another webcomic, Unknown Lands, which began in 2015, Vard is shown to be polyamorous, along with most of the cast having a queer sexual identity. The webcomic itself has environmental, feminist, and LGBTQ+ themes. A few years later, the 2017 film Professor Marston and the Wonder Women focuses on the real-life polyamorous relationship between the professor, psychologist William Moulton Marston (the creator of Wonder Woman), his wife and research partner Elizabeth Holloway Marston, and their student, Olive Byrne, as they share a "workplace, a bed, a home and eventually a family." Furthermore, fiction writer Cassandra Clare stated that Mark Blackthorn in The Dark Artifices book series would "definitely be open to a polyamorous relationship", but would not cheat or lie, while noting that another such relationship between other characters would not be possible. Eventually, he ends up in a polyamorous triangle, with a girlfriend and a boyfriend who are dating each other. Additionally, writer K. Ancrum confirmed that polyamorous characters were in two of her books ( The Wicker King and The Weight of the Stars), but did not name any specific characters. At the same time, Em, best friend of the protagonist in two books by Leigh Matthews ( Don't Bang the Barista and Go Deep) is a bisexual woman dating a man in the first book, but by the second book she has "happily settled into a poly triad", wondering how she will get married.
On May 29, 2017, in the last season of Steven Universe, Fluorite, a member of the Off Colors, a fusion of six different gems into one being, with fusion as the physical manifestation of a relationship, was introduced. This character reappeared in various episodes in the show's fifth season ("Lars Head", "Lars of the Stars", "Your Mother and Mine"), the season 5 finale, "Change Your Mind", along with one in Steven Universe Future ("Little Graduation") and in , with the latter two as non-speaking appearances. The series creator, Rebecca Sugar, confirmed that Fluorite is a representation of a polyamorous relationship at the show's Comic Con panel in San Diego. Sugar said at the panel, and at another conference, that she was inspired after talking with children at an LGBTQ+ center in Long Beach, California, who wanted a polyamorous character in the show. Steven Universe was not alone in this regard. The fourth season of BoJack Horseman, a mature animated series, featured a character named Hollyhock, the sister of the protagonist, who has eight adoptive fathers in a polyamorous gay relationship. The same year, Unicornland premiered, with eight-episode web series focusing on Annie's exploration into polyamory after her divorce.
Trigonometry is an eight-part BBC TV drama series which started on March 15, 2020, and is about an existing couple being joined by a third person and forming a polyamorous relationship. The BBC said that Trigonometry is "A love story about three people who are made for each other." In July 2021, Australian soap opera Neighbours explored polyamory with three of its main characters. Actress Jacinta Stapleton was proud to be involved in the story arc, stating: "I think we should always try to reflect real intimate relationships in our society. Polyamory certainly is a part of that. The more we represent the beautifully diverse nature and uniqueness of humans, the more people will feel accepted and seen."
Polyamory Pride Day is celebrated every year on a day in Pride Month.
Polyamory groups sometimes participate in .
International Solo Polyamory Day is celebrated every year on September 24.
Polyamory Day is celebrated every year on November 23; that day was chosen because on November 23, 2011, the Supreme Court of British Columbia ruled that the anti-polygamy law of Canada does not affect unformalized polyamorous households.
Loving More was an American non-profit organization formed to support and advocate on behalf of polyamorous people. Founded in 1985, Loving More claimed to be the oldest and longest-running polyamory organization; Loving More became inactive in March 2024.
The Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy (OPEN) was founded in the United States in 2022 as "a nonprofit organization dedicated to normalizing and empowering non-monogamous individuals and communities."
The Polyamory Action Lobby (PAL) was founded in 2013 in Australia to fight cultural misconceptions about polyamorous people and to fight for their legal rights.
The Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition (PLAC), based in the United States, "seeks to advance the civil and human rights of polyamorous individuals, communities, and families through legislative advocacy, public policy, and public education."
The United Kingdom Polyamory Association (UKPA) was founded by Giulia Smith. Its mission statement is, “The UK Polyamory Association exists to support the needs of polyamorous people and communities across the UK. We aim to increase public awareness and acceptance of polyamory, and challenge stigma through advocacy, positive representation, and education.”
Unitarian Universalists for Polyamory Awareness (UUPA) was founded in 2001. It "has as its mission to serve the Unitarian Universalist Association and the community of polyamorous people within and outside the UUA by providing support, promoting education, and encouraging spiritual wholeness regarding polyamory."
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