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Parentification or parent–child role reversal is the process of role reversal whereby a child or Adolescence is obliged to support the family system in ways that are developmentally inappropriate and overly burdensome. (2025). 9781441916945, Springer Science & Business Media. ISBN 9781441916945 For example, it is developmentally appropriate for even a very young child to help adults prepare a meal for the family to eat, but it is not developmentally appropriate for a young child to be required to provide and prepare food for the whole family alone. However, if the task is developmentally appropriate, such as a young child fetching an item for a parent or a teenager preparing a meal, then it is not a case of parentification, even if that task supports the family as a whole, relieves some of the burden on the parents, or is not the teenager's preferred activity.
Two distinct types of parentification have been identified technically: instrumental parentification and emotional parentification. Instrumental parentification involves the child completing physical tasks for the family, such as cooking meals or cleaning the house. Emotional parentification occurs when a child or adolescent must take on developmentally inappropriate emotional support roles, such as a confidante or mediator for (or between) parents or family members.
Spousification and parental child (Minuchin) offered alternative concepts exploring the same phenomenon, while the theme of intergenerational continuity in such violations of personal boundaries was further examined.Jurkovic, in L'Abate ed., p. 240 Furthermore, Eric Berne highlighted the dangers of parents and children having a symmetrical, rather than asymmetrical relationship, as when an absent spouse is replaced by the eldest child in the family dynamic;Eric Berne, Sex in Human Loving (Penguin 1970) p. 249–53 and Virginia Satir wrote of "the role–function discrepancy...where the son gets into a head-of-the-family role, commonly that of the father".Virginia Satir, Peoplemaking (1983) p. 167
Object relations theory suggest that a child's false self is called into being when it is forced prematurely to take excessive care of the parental object;Adam Phillips, On Kissing, Tickling and Being Bored (1994) p. 31 and John Bowlby looked at what he called "compulsive caregiving" among the anxiously attached, as a result of a parent inverting the normal relationship and pressuring the child to be an attachment figure for them.John Bowlby, The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds (London 1979) p. 137–38
All such aspects of disturbed and inverted parenting patterns have been drawn under the umbrella of the wider phenomenon of parentification, with the result (critics suggest) that on occasion "ironically the concept of parentification has...been as over-burdened as the child it often describes".Karpel, quoted by Jurkovic, in L'Abate ed., p. 238
Elder children, often , are chosen for the familial parental role.Satir, p. 167 In part, this is likely because the older child is developmentally capable of providing more support to the family than the younger siblings.
Gender considerations mean that sometimes the eldest boy or eldest girl is selected, even if they are not the oldest child overall, for such reasons as the preference to match the sex of a missing parent. Girls, especially those living in a large family, are more likely than boys to be pushed into developmentally inappropriate amounts and types of caregiving. If there is a disabled child in the family to be cared for, "older siblings, especially girls, are at the greatest risk of parentification". The tendency to burden the oldest girl in the family is sometimes called eldest daughter syndrome.
A married, widowed, or single parent may treat their child as their spouse; this is known as spousification, and it occurs more often among single than married parents. Mother–son spousification is more common than father–daughter spousification. Mothers may put their sons in this role due to a desire for protection but fear of men. Their sons are a less threatening option.
Mother–daughter parentification is also more common than father–daughter parentification. Daughters are likelier than sons to be an emotional anchor. In a mother–daughter relationship, the mother might oblige her daughter to take on the caregiving role, in a betrayal of the child's normal expectation of love and care.
Parentification has been linked to young women with , particularly in the case of father–daughter relationships. Where there is more than one daughter, the oldest daughter is likelier to be Child grooming for sexual activity and parentified. One or more of her younger sisters may be targeted by the father for sexual activity in later years. Father–son emotional parentification may result in depression and externalizing in sons.
A significant byproduct of parentification is the loss of a developmentally appropriate childhood.Siegal, p. 114 The child may also Dropping out of school to assume the parental role. In destructive parentification, the child in question takes on excessive responsibility in the family, without their caretaking being supported adequately by others.Jurkovic, p. 237 By adopting the role of parental caregiver, the child loses their natural place in the family unit. In extreme instances, there may be what has been called a kind of disembodiment, a narcissistic wound that threatens one's basic self-identity.Paula M. Reeves, in Nancy D. Chase, Burdened Children (1999) p. 171 In later life, parentified children often experience anxiety over abandonment and loss, and demonstrate difficulty handling rejection and disappointment within interpersonal relationships.
Boszormenyi-Nagy et al. are among the researchers who have argued that parentification is not always maladaptive. Researchers of this view say that children may benefit from being treated as capable individuals and taking on the role of supporting and caring for their family. Researchers have speculated that parentification may enhance empathy, altruism, and responsibility levels for a child. The child may pursue a career in the mental health field. The positive effects are likely if the parentification was temporary and moderate, which is an aspect of adaptive parentification. Adaptive parentification can manifest if the parent is vital to their child's development and expresses to the child their awareness of and appreciation for the child assuming the parental role. Adaptive parentification may not be role reversal when it is instrumental rather than emotional caretaking, temporary and without heavy burden, and when the child is treated fairly by their parents and has their support. Instead of being an aspect of psychopathology, it is a coping mechanism for stress.
Charles Dickens' "Angel in the house" characters, particularly Agnes Wickfield in David Copperfield, are parentified children. Nina S. "Unwilling Angels: Charles Dickens, Agnes Wickfield, and the Effects of Parentification". Dickens Blog. Agnes is forced to be the parent of her alcoholic father and seems to strive for perfection as a means of reaching the "ego ideal" of her deceased mother (who died upon child-birth). Because of this, Agnes marries late, has relationship and intimacy problems (she has a hard time expressing her love for David until he reveals his own love for her), and has some self-defeating attitudes; in one scene she blames her own father's misfortunes on herself. However, she proves to be resilient, resourceful, responsible and even potentially career-driven (she forms her own school). She also manages to marry the protagonist David and the two live happily together for 10 years with children by the end of the novel.
The theme of parentification has also been explored in the Twilight series,E. D. Klonsky/A. Blas, The Psychology of Twilight (2011) with particular but not exclusive reference to the character of Bella Swan.Nancy R. Reagin ed., Twilight and History (2010) p. 184–85 and p. 258-9
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