Excerpt: ...for a joke for his head is most as bare as a sass plate)
And he went on, It would be a very stylish and genteel ride. I''d love to tell brother Gowdey about it. The bretheren will expect it of me as a live progressive Jonesvillian minglin'' here with the noblest in the land to cut sunthin'' of a dash. But seein'' that I still looked dubersome he sez, I don''t feel very rugged this mornin'' and I dread the crowded car; Id''no but I should faint away in ''em if I sot out. That of course settled the matter. As his anxious chaperone I consented to the project and he went and got the showiest one he could find. He didn''t look for character or stability, only for gildin'' and red paint. And we embarked, Josiah with a proud liniment, as if he wuz introducin'' me into gay life and fashionable amusements. The man wuz to take us to the Fair ground for so much, and Josiah feelin'' so neat had paid him in advance, and there wuz another party waitin'' for him. And the speed that shuffler put on wuz sunthin'' awful. The first few minutes before we got to goin'' that terrific speed Josiah liked it, and seemed to look patronizin''ly down on the people walkin'' afoot that we passed by and pity ''em. But anon the man got to goin'' faster and faster and Josiah''s liniment underwent a change and he hollered out to me, for the noise wuz so loud and skairful he had to yell: Samantha, I don''t believe it is right for members of the meetin'' house to be goin'' at such a gait. And I hollered back to him, It hain''t none of my doin''s, it hain''t nothin'' I wanted, I a hangin'' onto my bunnet strings and tryin'' to keep my bunnet on. As for the tabs of my mantilly I had gin up tryin'' to curb ''em down, and they waved out like a pirate''s flag in a cyclone only a different color. Finally Josiah hollered to the shuffler, I want you to curb in your machine! I''m a deacon, and have got my station in the Jonesville meetin'' house to think on. Hold it in, I say! The shuffler glanced round at us as...